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Cover and internal design © 2007 by Sourcebooks, Inc

Kim Marshall

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Book Details
 266 p
 File Size 
 708 KB
 File Type
 PDF format
 2007 by Kim Marshall  

About the Author
Kim Marshall has worked in public education since
graduating from college in 1969, and has published
seven books and numerous articles. As a young teacher,
he was trained as a sex educator and began developing and
teaching a sex education curriculum, reaching more than
1,700 young adolescents over the years.

The Great Sex Secret developed on a parallel track.
Marshall was struck by some significant gaps in sex literature
and popular media and started work on a letter
that he planned to give to his own children on their eighteenth birthdays.

To his surprise, this proved to be one of the most
challenging projects he’d ever undertaken. Eight years
of reading, research, and feedback slowly turned a
twelve-page letter into something much bigger, and
Marshall decided to share it with a wider audience.
A generous impulse gave rise to this book. Marshall
hopes that its ideas will be helpful to many lovers,
allowing them to get to the heart of the matter a little
bit sooner. Life is short, the geography of love is a
challenge, and sexual happiness really matters.

There are lots of books about sex out there. Why one more?
Because there is an important gap in sex
research and advice literature: almost no attention has
been paid to the ways in which human sexual anatomy
makes mutual satisfaction during intercourse a major
challenge—or to the work-arounds that some couples
have figured out over the years.

Thousands of books, magazines, videos, and websites
provide endless ideas about sexual foreplay, positions,
and practices, but they tend to avoid the basic
structural issues and downplay what would seem to be
the ideal finale of sex—orgasms for both partners.
There is an implicit assumption that lovers have that
part figured out.

But do they? A widely reported indicator of sexual
dissatisfaction—as many as 85 percent of women say
they don’t have orgasms during actual intercourse—has
been showing up in research for years.
Secret starts with this statistic and addresses some basic
• Why is sexual intercourse so often unfulfilling for women?
• Was there ever a time when this was not true?
• Is it possible for both partners to have orgasms
when they make love?
• Are simultaneous orgasms feasible—or desirable?
• What is “great sex,” anyway?
• What’s technique got to do with it?
• Why do so many lovers have trouble talking about sex?
• What’s going on when seemingly happy couples
shy away from sex?
• Can sexual passion be kept alive in long-term love relationships?
• Why has sex-advice literature been so unhelpful?
To answer these questions, we’ll look at an eclectic
array of material from contemporary and historical
sources, including the experience of couples who have
found their way to mutually satisfying lovemaking. 
The book presents the following argument:
• Penis-in-vagina sexual intercourse almost always
produces an orgasm for men but rarely does for
women. This is because the location of the clitoris
prevents most women from getting sensitive,
appropriate, and sustained stimulation during intercourse. 
Making love in ways that give both
partners full satisfaction is neither easy nor obvious—
it doesn’t “come naturally.”
• Historians tell us that through the ages, the default
setting for sexual intercourse has been male satisfaction
and female frustration. Several cultures
exhorted men to give sexual satisfaction to their
partners and even told them that their partners
wouldn’t get pregnant if they didn’t have
orgasms—but specific instructions for stimulating
the clitoris during intercourse were not provided.
• A persistent myth has been that penetration
alone should produce a female orgasm, preferably
at the same moment as the man’s; simultaneous
orgasms have often been touted as the
ultimate amorous accomplishment (but without
specifics on how to make them happen). Despite
today’s more sophisticated understanding of
human anatomy, this belief persists, and it is one
of several reasons that a good number of women
fake orgasms during intercourse.
• Lovemaking that is unfulfilling for one partner
does not stand the test of time and sows seeds of
resentment and unhappiness in a relationship. In
recent years, there has been much discussion of
“sexless marriages,” and the finger is usually
pointed at exhaustion in two-career households,
male anger about women having more power, and
inadequate sexual technique. But figuring out ways
for busy couples to be less fatigued, psychoanalyzing
the sources of male-female anger, or using better
foreplay, exotic positions, and sex toys do not
address the real problem.
• Many lovers who start off with a strong sexual connection
find that over the years they get bored with
sex, don’t make love as frequently or for as long as
they used to, and aren’t “in the mood” at the same
moment as their partner. Most sex-advice literature
promotes the idea that sexual variety, athleticism,
and spontaneity are the ways to keep passion alive
in long-term relationships.
• Not true. The key to long-term sexual happiness is
having a strong love relationship and finding an
effective, mutually satisfactory way to bring both
the man and the woman to orgasm while they are
together. Three effective approaches have been discovered
by couples over the years: first, separate
orgasms, with the woman having her climax before
or after actual intercourse (first me, then you); second,
the woman touching herself during intercourse;
and third, the man caressing his partner’s
clitoris during intercourse. All three approaches
reliably bring the woman to orgasm during lovemaking;
the second and third can easily produce
simultaneous or near-simultaneous orgasms. For
full details, see Chapter 6, Three Approaches to
Mutual Satisfaction.
• These approaches are almost never discussed in the
literature or talked about even among close friends.
Laypeople’s reticence is regrettable but understandable;
the silence of the “experts” is baffling. It
appears that almost all researchers and educators
are asking the wrong questions and are stuck in an
old paradigm of how sexual intercourse is supposed
to work. The result is that very few couples get
good advice from the literature—or from their parents,
their peers, sex education courses, popular
culture, and even (or perhaps especially) 
from erotica and pornography.
• The only way that some lovers have been able to
unlock the ancient mystery is by talking honestly
and openly with each other about sex. But most
people are shy and have had very little practice at
putting their sexual likes and dislikes into words.
When women have less power within romantic
relationships, they are even less likely to speak up
in bed. Poor communication is a major obstacle to
solving the built-in issues involved in mutually satisfying
male-female intercourse.
• Because of this, it’s a real challenge for couples to
find mutual satisfaction during lovemaking. All
too many lovers in each new generation follow the
same unsatisfying path as those who came (or did
not come) before them. A vast industry of sex
material and paraphernalia attempts to alleviate
this unhappiness, but very little of it helps.
• Lasting sexual happiness begins when couples confront
the mismatches in their sexual anatomies,
communicate well, and settle on an approach that
reliably gives both partners orgasms when they
make love. Making this point and describing the
most effective techniques in some detail is what
this book is all about.

Table of Contents

Introduction ..............................................................1
Chapter 1:
Disappointment in the Land of Eros:
Is There a Design Flaw? ..........................................7
Chapter 2:
Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am:
The Long History of One-Sided Sex ......................27
Chapter 3:
No Female Orgasm—But He Tried..........................45
Chapter 4:
Faking It and Dealing with It ..................................63
Chapter 5:
Simultaneous Orgasms: Are They Possible? ..............79
Chapter 6:
Three Approaches to Mutual Satisfaction ..............107
Chapter 7:
What’s Technique Got to Do with It? ....................131
Chapter 8:
Keeping Passion Alive in Long-Term
Chapter 9:
Finding Our Way to Sexual Happiness ..................177
Bibliography ..........................................................197
Endnotes ................................................................203
About the Author ..................................................213

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This book is not intended as a substitute for medical advice from a qualified physician.
The intent of this book is to provide accurate general information in regard to
the subject matter covered. If medical advice or other expert help is needed, the
services of an appropriate medical professional should be sought.

- The essential guide for any man who wants to satisfy his woman -

by siski green

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Book Details
 258 p
 File Size 
 3,048 KB
 File Type
 PDF format
 978-1-4022-1358-8 (alk. paper) 
 1-4022-1358-1 (alk. paper)
 2008 by Siski Green 

I view sex as I do eating: it’s an essential part of my
life, but I try hard not to take it for granted. And,
like eating, I like to think about sex even when I’m
not doing it. Just as I would consider the ingredients
I’m going to cook with, which spices to add,
and how I’ll heat it up and serve it, I’ve spent a lot
of time thinking about the different ways people
can explore sex. What makes my thoughts about sex
different, though, is that I get paid to put them on
paper—something I can’t claim for my enthusiastic home cooking.

Since I started writing about sex five years ago, I’ve
had everyone from the plumber to family members
telling me their sexual secrets and concerns. Sex, it
seems, is something we’ve all got lots to say about,
only we tend not to say it out loud. That’s a shame
because, like great recipes handed down from generation
to generation, I think there are probably a lot
of fantastic sexual tricks and techniques that we could
all learn from (and if you’d like to share them, please
feel free to email them anonymously to the address given on page xii).

So, based on what I’ve learned through my own experiences
as well as hundreds of ideas and techniques
I’ve learned from others, I’ve tried to provide an
insight into what sex is like for a woman to give you an
idea of what feels great, what she hates, and the things
she wishes you’d do more of. I want you to finish this
book feeling that you’ve got a better understanding
of women, that you’ve learned exactly how to make
her feel fantastic in bed, and, most importantly, that
you’re so charged up with new ideas that you just can’t
wait to try them out.

Remember, though, that in sex, just like in cooking,
each chef has his or her own favorite ingredients,
preferred techniques, and signature dish. This book,
like a recipe book, is here to guide and advise you—but
if you’d like to add a little more salt or a little less
pepper, keep things boiling a little longer, or skip a
particular recipe completely, please do so. There is
only one absolute rule when it comes to phenomenal
sex: there are no rules, just good advice. And that’s
what I hope to provide in this book.

Table of Contents
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction xiii

1:Flirting 1
Your Silent Signals
Her Silent Come-Ons
The Approach
Real Girls Tell All

2:Kissing 25
Why You Must Kiss
Kissing Technique
Timing and Locations
Real Girls Tell All

3:Breasts 47
Admiring Her Breasts
Knowing Her Breasts
Touching Her Breasts
Real Girls Tell All

4:Sex Positions 73
Her On Top
You On Top
On All Fours
Side By Side
Real Girls Tell All

5:Giving Oral 95
Finding Your Way
Best Positions
Real Girls Tell All

6:Getting Oral 121
First Times
Helping Her to Get It Right
Encouraging More Oral
Real Girls Tell All
Contents C ix

7:Using Your Hands On Her Body 145
Her Body
Your Touch
Her Touch
Hands-Solo Style
Real Girls Tell All

8:Sex Toys 175
Introducing Toys
Using Toys
Household Objects
Real Girls Tell All

9:Sex Fantasies 193
Her Fantasies
Your Fantasies
Real Girls Tell All
References 209
Index 215

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Copyright © 2008 by Siski Green
Cover and internal design © 2008 by Sourcebooks, Inc.
Cover design by Kelly Letros
Cover photo ©, JBryson

by Anne Hooper and Phillip Hodson

Sourcebooks Casablanca

Cover and internal design © 2009 by Sourcebooks, Inc.
Cover design by Stewart Williams Design
Cover image © B2M Productions/Getty Images
Internal photography © Yuri Arcurs, John Bailey, bartekwardziak, Ivan Bliznetsov, Valentin
Casarsa, Irina Chirkova, Digital Version, Lev Dolgatshjov, Dusaleev, Forgiss, Katerina
Govorushchenko, Frenk_Danielle Kaufmann, Artsiom Kireyau, Arthur Kwiatkowski, J.C.
Marlaud/PhotoAlto, MedioImages, michaeljung, Lev Olkha, Photodisc, Doreen Salcher, Mark
Stout, stryjek, Sebastian Szopa, Andi Taranczuk, vgstudio, Renee Woodward

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Book Details
 162 p
 File Size 
 27,312 KB
 File Type
 PDF format
 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 
 2003, 2009
 by Anne Hooper and Phillip Hodson 

About the Author
Anne Hooper and Phillip Hodson are the coauthors of more
than a dozen bestselling sex guides, including How to Make
Great Love to a Woman, Anne Hooper’s Kama Sutra,
Anne Hooper’s Pocket Sex Guide, Great Sex Games,
and the KISS Guide to Sex. They are psychotherapists
and renowned sex therapists who have helped thousands of
couples. They have been life partners for more than twentyfive
years, and they live together in England.

Table of Contents
1: a real man . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
2: tricks to tempt and tantalize her. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
3: tricks to tempt and tantalize you. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
4: vibes, lubes, and sex toys. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
5: sextremes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109
6: sexopoly. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
about the authors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154

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